Balance

I'm trying to get over the desire/need to celebrate small things in big ways. Mother's Day for example, I don't need a bouquet of filler flowers from Kroger to make me feel valued as a mom. I know for a fact that if I were not around, the house would be completely discombobulated, my children and husband would starve, and the laundry would overtake the house. To cure myself of the vice of validate me, I didn't fuss when Mother's Day was all but forgotten, I chose not to celebrate Colin's birthday as well. CAN YOU SAY REGRET!!!! Yep, I have regretted that every day since. So when Emery said let's have a birthday party, I said YES!!! It was random and spontaneous and my kids are both nogie nosed and coughing so I should have said no, but I said YES!!!! We made brownies and put up balloons and made hats. I sang to the kids, but in my heart of hearts I was really singing to Colin. I took pictures. I know it doesn't make up for the past and I don't want to be Lot's wife looking back, so here's to making a moment in the now and moving forward with lesson's learned. It's a wonderful thing to celebrate the life of a child especially your own. I'm off my soapbox now...thanks for listening to my ramblings... A Very Merry Unbirthday to you!